End of exams; Emptiness after chaos

I'm back!! Now exams are over. I should be happy. I really should be happy. But I'm not.

...Life feels so empty right now...

I haven't been blogging for over two weeks. I've been practically living at university since the end of my media exam. Studying for what? My genetics exam, which concluded yesterday at 4:20pm. Go in at 9am and home at 8pm. Every day for the past two weeks (excluding Saturday and Sunday! could have done that also...). I can't remember the last time I studied for something so much. Usually I like to study at home. But this time I don't know what has gotten into me. Maybe it's just a thing that comes with being a 3rd year student. I have developed a true passion for university. Ok so I've said this before. But now its different. I have found my area of study, one that makes me go "wow" (genetics) and I want to study it lots!!! The sad thing is that now that my genetics exam is over I have to wait till NEXT year to do any more genetics study. Sigh. How will I ever survive next trimester? There are no more undergraduate genetics papers!!! Wahhhh!!!! After these past weeks it feels so strange not studying.... sigh. Feel empty right now.
Ok enough of my complaints. Exams are over. I should be happy.

Now for an update on my past 2 weeks of genetics study marathon;
I usually like to study alone. I don't know why. It's just a thing I do. For most of the first week I spent studying in my new favourite study spot in the university library on the first floor. There is this series of mythical paintings on the wall and below them is a table. During this study period this became my favourite study spot. As I said I usually like to study alone... so I did...until Christina found me! So then we studied together and it was actually ok. But then there was this door and our table was right next to the door and it kept making creaky noises so eventually we ended up moving to the 8th floor... which had the most amazing view of Wellington! (But the table below the painting still remains as my favourite spot!). Anyway, we ended up studying together every day at uni from 9am-7pm! Now that exams are over I'm going to really miss that.

Another great thing about studying at uni is that you can ask questions! I have officially got back my habit of asking questions (shyness slowly rotting away!)! ...I always thought lecturers are the easiest people in the world to find since they seem to live in their offices. Ummm not quite as true as it seems! I spent most of last week trying to find Dr GR to ask some cytogenetics questions… and he had vanished! Seriously! Then I e-mailed him and still no answer. Ok so I waited until Tuesday when we were supposed to have a genetics tutorial. I thought 'great ok I can ask my cytogenetics questions!' But he wasn't there! Ok so then I gave up hope completely. By then I was pretty convinced he had left the planet! Then after the tutorial (molecular genetics Dr GC stayed for the whole tutorial) while waiting for my lunch to heat up I decided to randomly check my e-mail (I have to note that this is yet another thing that comes with being a 3rd year student; you actually start to check your student e-mail, which is something I have never done before, and as a result have accumulated 109 unread e-mails). And he replied! :) So then I went and asked all my questions! :)

Well I won’t go into all the details of every day of the past two weeks, since they all pretty much involved the same routine; into uni to study genetics at 9am. Back home at 8pm. Sleep. Apart from genetics, I learned two very obvious random things during this study period (which I just never paid attention to before); a) there are two staircases in the library to go up/down levels (I always thought there was one) and b) you can open doors at university after hours, or late at night using your student ID card! (I thought it was a special card or something! But no it’s just an id card!). Days flew by like autumn leaves in the breeze...

Then Friday the 20^th June came…
On Friday I had a horrible day. The day before the genetics exam. I was so nervous! By this time I had already finished going through all the past exam papers, which was actually rather entertaining. The week before, on Monday after my media exam I went to the library to photocopy all the past exam papers, that come in big booklets, the earliest being 1998. Ok I though. That will be great! 9 years of exams to revise from. So then I started looking for genetics in the booklets…1998…1999….2000…2001…and couldn’t find the papers! By then I was getting worried! What happened to genetics?! But finally at 2002…victory! I was very relieved, and copied all the exams from 2002-2007! (I later found out that this course didn’t exist until 2002! How terrible! Luckily I wasn’t at uni then!).

Anyway, by Friday I was getting really nervous. And with nervousness comes grumpiness. I really really really wanted to do very well in this exam. I cared so much about genetics… At first two weeks of study seemed like a long time. I had done every single past exam paper. But as the day of the exam drew nearer I started to have some doubt. Friday was a horrible day. I wished this genetics paper didn't have an exam, like my previous genetics paper. Sigh. The littlest things made me upset. I felt like I hadn’t done enough study. I wished we had another 2 weeks to study. I wanted to be alone. I didn’t want my friends to see me so frazzled … After lunch I ran away from my friends and went to my favourite study spot. Christina texted me but I didn’t reply. I wanted to be alone. Sigh. I buried myself in my study, writing essay after essay. Down syndrome, sex determination, human aneuploids… Until one of my friends found me. We talked. Then he left. Then Christina came. He must have told her where I was. She gave me a reassuring pep talk about exams, and tried to cheer me up. I ended up going back to study with her, feeling somewhat happier. Sigh.

On Saturday 21^st June I sat the exam. Then it was over. Just like that. Sigh. Now all I can do is wait. And pray.

...A random thought occurred to me while studying genetics; If I ever discover a new chromosomal abnormality I'm going to name it 'Jilinapoli Syndrome' (computer username)! I know it’s a really random thought. Strange things start running though your mind when you study…

On a random note, I decided I just have to have the book 'iGenetics' by Russell. Over the study period I had used that book so much and realized how great it is, but I'll have to give Christina's copy of it back now that exams are over. But I just have to get a copy of my own!!! It's so great!!! Almost as great as 'Genetics' by Strickberger! That’s just a thing about me and books. If I like a book very much I just have to have it. So far I found one on Amazon... :) I'm crazy, I know.

Now my exams are over. I’m back online (as you can see) and back to reading, TV, socializing etc. But after my study marathon, it feels so strange not having to study anymore. I don't really know what to do with myself! And I miss uni already! Speaking of which, my next order of business will be to decide on my subjects for next semester. So far I only know that I'm taking evolution and that's all. I decided I'm going to change my english paper to a media paper. I don't want to take English anymore. I decided that I want to stay at uni for a very very very long time! (Like, forever!!!) and do something incredibly fascinating with genetics and chromosomes. My long term ambition (as of this year) is to get a PhD in genetics (after Honours, Masters etc). Media was random and enjoyable this semester so I'll do it again as a random interest paper. I still haven't decided on my second biology paper. So that will give me something to ponder about...

…I’m really going to miss genetics next semester… :( (sad face x1million) WARNING: you are going to be hearing this a lot from me!